Have you ever wonder if YOU can do something to communicate more effectively with those around you?
While there are books, seminars and organizations could teach you how, there is another method (more customized) that proves to be even more effective and with quicker results: Coaching.
Usually books, teaching or training on improving interpersonal communication are focused on what actions to take (short-term), not on how to recognize and remove the internal barriers. Coaching has lasting effects, since its focused on changing behaviours and removing internal barriers specific to each person. Once removed, you will be surprised by the positive effects on your interpersonal communication.
Not convinced?! 🙂 Let’s explore three internal barriers that could affect your communication:
- Negative emotions
- Low self-esteem
- Lack of commitment
1. The negative emotions from previous experiences, if not released, continue to hunt us and get expressed when we expect less. They are triggered by similar situations that show up in our life, without consciously recognizing them. Did it occur to you to get upset or raise the tone of your voice for something that… was not really a big deal? It could be one of those situations, that triggered past emotions not released. As long as you don’t identify and release them, they could affect your interpersonal communication since others won’t really know from where your overreaction is coming from.
2. Low self-esteem takes a huge toll on interpersonal communication. Not having the courage to express your ideas (because you believe they’re not worthy), could send a different message than the one you want to project. It might mislead other people, leaving them to believe whatever they want (which might be different from what you want). Low self-esteem could also show up as lack of confidence, or by not taking responsibility for your own actions. Do I have to mention the impact on the interpersonal communication?! Who would like to spend more time or collaborate with someone who doesn’t take responsibility for his actions? Or who does not trust himself, and is waiting for help all the time?
3. Lack of commitment comes usually from not knowing what you want, or from not having the courage to take the right actions. Lack of commitment plays a huge role in interpersonal communication, since its so easy to spot it… and no one likes it. How to communicate effectively with someone who is not committed, who doesn’t pay attention or simply ignores you?!
If you found yourself at least once in the situations listed above, when do you think it’s the best time to work on your own issues: when a similar situation occurs? or in advance, so you are better prepared to communicate more effectively in any situation?
Gabriela Casineanu
Dear Gabriela, I so admire what you are doing and where you are coming from. Perhaps I should have been following you around. But, I would still fall on my face a thousand times by overeacting or totally misunderstanding, as well as insisting on supporting positions that later proved totally unsupportable. I’m too far gone to change much but I’m sure you’ll help many.
Dear Jean,
My “helping” style is facilitating people’s growth by creating a safe “space” where they can (re)discover themselves. I’ve listed my background for those who feel the need to see credentials in order to open up to someone.
I have my way to deal with overreacting or misunderstanding, or other reactions that might show up, as long as people are willing and open to change. BTW, change is easy with or without someone’s else help. 🙂 Some believe they don’t know how to make it happen, so they ask for help. Others want to heal, and to get there something needs to change too (limiting believes and/or negative emotions). Most of the time we’re unaware of them.
Gabriela
Dear Gabriela,
How could I have taken so long to get to looking at my comments and/or comments to comments.
Whatever, I thank you for believing in your calling and mission in life, for that is what it seems to me to be, to be sure that all who will to, will understand what you are offering.
As my own blogging hopefully makes clear, I more or less trust my spirit guide and teacher to clear up my own misunderstanding of what life is all about, and help me to share that with others.
But, your opening up, even with me, hopefully allows you to reach those who come to my blog and find you here.
All roads are going through Life, to discover they are Life.
Love,,
Jean
Dear Gabriela, I so admire what you are doing and where you are coming from. Perhaps I should have been following you around. But, I would still fall on my face a thousand times by overeacting or totally misunderstanding, as well as insisting on supporting positions that later proved totally unsupportable. I’m too far gone to change much but I’m sure you’ll help many.
Dear Jean,
My “helping” style is facilitating people’s growth by creating a safe “space” where they can (re)discover themselves. I’ve listed my background for those who feel the need to see credentials in order to open up to someone.
I have my way to deal with overreacting or misunderstanding, or other reactions that might show up, as long as people are willing and open to change. BTW, change is easy with or without someone’s else help. 🙂 Some believe they don’t know how to make it happen, so they ask for help. Others want to heal, and to get there something needs to change too (limiting believes and/or negative emotions). Most of the time we’re unaware of them.
Gabriela
Dear Gabriela,
How could I have taken so long to get to looking at my comments and/or comments to comments.
Whatever, I thank you for believing in your calling and mission in life, for that is what it seems to me to be, to be sure that all who will to, will understand what you are offering.
As my own blogging hopefully makes clear, I more or less trust my spirit guide and teacher to clear up my own misunderstanding of what life is all about, and help me to share that with others.
But, your opening up, even with me, hopefully allows you to reach those who come to my blog and find you here.
All roads are going through Life, to discover they are Life.
Love,,
Jean
You have listed the most unique yet important barriers of effective communication 🙂 I think as far as business communication is concerned, eliminating the emotion quotient is necessary. Be direct, simple and clear! Try establishing the basic commonness in communication, understand the language of gestures, enable expression and smile.. they are the most subtle elements in communication. Thanks sharing.
Thanks, Serena! You’ve added great tips. About the language of gestures, it might not be the same in different culture. I live in Toronto, there are more than 140 languages spoken here, people from all over the world, and I often notice misinterpreted gestures.
You have listed the most unique yet important barriers of effective communication 🙂 I think as far as business communication is concerned, eliminating the emotion quotient is necessary. Be direct, simple and clear! Try establishing the basic commonness in communication, understand the language of gestures, enable expression and smile.. they are the most subtle elements in communication. Thanks sharing.
Thanks, Serena! You’ve added great tips. About the language of gestures, it might not be the same in different culture. I live in Toronto, there are more than 140 languages spoken here, people from all over the world, and I often notice misinterpreted gestures.