Invited to do a webinar about “How to Stay Healthy and Motivated during COVID-19 Pandemic” (slides here), I failed to comply with the organizer’s request to “just give a few tips for introverts and extroverts”. With such a complex topic, I wanted to cover things relevant to both first… and the time passed quickly!
On an attempt to redeem myself, I’d like to share my perspective on what could be useful to introverts and extroverts… through two common themes that lead to a different set of actions according to their specific characteristics.
1. We’re all social beings but we see “being social”… differently!
Extroverts get their energy by interacting with others. Social distancing hit them hard because they crave physical interactions. Asking a few questions to get more details, I found out that what they really want is real-time interactions and that feeling they get when they get people’s attention.
When you take the “physical” out, there are still plenty of ways for real-time interactions if you want to feed this need: phone conversations, live videos via social media or online platforms (like Zoom)… you just need to plan them! I’m sure that those who are like you will welcome such initiatives with enthusiasm.
So, think of how and when you want to interact with others in the current conditions… and proactively plan for it! There are also opportunities started by others, online communities that get together. This can bring you plenty of opportunities for the type of interaction you love! Make sure you enjoy and are grateful for every bit of interaction you get, even if it doesn’t have the same intensity as off-line interactions. Everything counts and can build on each other!
This will occupy your mind in a more positive way, instead of getting frustrated about what you can’t do these days. Also, go out once in a while—while respecting social distancing—so you can see other people. I found it interesting these days: I see more people on the streets, making eye contact, smiling and even starting a brief conversation when they pass by each other 6 feet away… They all use this opportunity to feel connected with others!
BTW, did you know that many successful athletes use visualization to imagine their dreams and goals? Successful business people adopted this practice as well and… it works well with social distancing! 🙂 Try to imagine yourself at a party (or whatever you miss the most) and you’ll notice the same feeling building up inside… even if no-one’s around you at that moment. Enjoy that feeling and let it infuse you with energy for what else you want to do.
For introverts, it’s the other way around. They’re comfortable being alone, it also helps recharge their batteries. So social distancing didn’t seem a problem at the beginning.
Yet, when you’re suddenly forced to work from home—with increased online communication—you might feel that social distancing is invading your space! At least that’s how I felt!
Home is a “sacred place” for an introvert, an oasis away from the noisy and demanding world. Interacting with others while away from home was ok before, because you could recharge at home or in nature. But that suddenly changed: now you’re pressured to “open” your home to outsiders, which feels like an invasion of your space. Video conferencing, the preferred type of business communication these days, is tiring. Gazing at the screen for long minutes or hours because others want to see your face (as in an offline meeting) is overwhelming and could cause eye strain. So the introvert needs extra time to recharge. And if you’re not living alone, being in the presence of other(s) all day long leaves you not much time and space to recharge.
How to cope with this “invasion” as an introvert? First, recognize and accept that it’s the new “normal” (hopefully not for long). Find more effective ways to recharge—you know well what works for you! And try new ones! Want some ideas? More sleeping time, less TV, sing like no-one is listening, dance like no-one is looking, reconnect with nature. It’s still ok to go for a walk or hike as long as you respect social distancing. It’s even recommended to get fresh air, it boosts the immunity system! Energy doesn’t come only from slowing down. It can also be triggered through movement, doing things that inspire you, letting your creativity flow, reconnecting with a meaningful cause. Yes, visualization works for introverts, too. 🙂
As for the outsiders “invading” your space, assure them you’re still listening even if you turn off the video. Take your eyes off of the screen often so you can focus better on what they say. Organize your time is a way that you feel more in control of what’s happening in your “space”.
2. An opportunity for accelerated self-growth.
Being forced to face a challenging situation, like the COVID-19 pandemic, we suddenly find ourselves out of the comfort zone. Such a situation can accelerate our self-growth (if we’re open to it) or stress us to a point that could even lead to mental health and physical issues.
Some people go into Reactive mode (act based on fear, crave what they lack off…), while others act proactively (acknowledge the situation as is, try to minimize its negative impact, find new opportunities…). The reactive mode leads to more stress, which affects negatively the immunity system—our body’s defence system for dealing with unhealthy viruses and bacteria. While the Proactive mode leads to more positivity and self-growth, with beneficial effects both mentally and physically.
How does this situation look like for extroverts?
With their tendency to pay attention to “what is” in the outside world, extroverts might become overwhelmed with all the negative news reaching us these days through many more channels than before. While that characteristic makes them popular in the workplace (they’re up to date with what’s going on), great at networking events (start easily a conversation), good at animating parties… in a situation like this crisis, the same characteristic might also make them not see the forest for the trees—if they take the negative news as the only… news!
In such a situation, taking time to disconnect from the outside world and self-reflect more… could help extroverts discover their rich inner world, its calmness and wisdom. Ironically, reconnecting with themselves could lead to insights about the outside world never considered before. It also allows time to reflect on what they want to see more in their future—and adjust their actions accordingly. It’s like zooming out so you can see the whole forest (not just the tress) and its potential for a better future. Practicing self-reflection more often during these times increases also the awareness about its benefits. Continuing this practice, even after the crisis, could improve their lives by integrating their natural characteristics and the benefits of self-reflection.
Introverts have a tendency to look at “what could be”, bypassing the present moment. A useful skill to put in perspective while bombarded with all the scary news about this crisis. Strategic thinking comes also naturally for introverts. So planning for the future in times of social distancing and slowdown of the economy could be beneficial, getting them ready to act when the restrictions are lifted, and the economy starts the recovering process.
The introverts’ self-growth during this crisis can be accelerated by turning toward the outer world more often: scanning it for positive signs that could put things in perspective and spot new opportunities, sharing more often their insights (the world needs their input as well), let their natural calmness affect the others as a ripple effect (leading to better decisions in a time of crisis). It’s a time for connecting more often with others from the comfort of their home (whenever they’re open to it), to feed their need for helping others and human connection; to let themselves inspired also by the good things happening in the world. LinkedIn, for example, is a great way to stay connected with the world… and you control how much and how often you’re there. For introverts, non-verbal communication (like writing) it’s more natural. People appreciate sincere, kind and encouraging words—especially during these times—something that comes naturally to introverts. So express yourself more often, people’s reaction might positively surprise you. This also helps you feel useful and contribute to meaningful causes, while (unconsciously) increasing your comfort zone when dealing with strangers—.another benefit that will serve introverts well after this crisis ends!
For both—extroverts and introverts—who struggle to deal with their relationship(s) under the same roof: this time also gives them the opportunity to grow their relationship “muscles”.
Become more aware of what you like and you don’t like in your relationship. Be grateful for what you like and express your gratitude more often. Studies show that in healthy and happy relationships, the positivity-negativity ratio is 5:1. What’s the ratio in your relationship(s)?
Notice which of your behaviour triggers negativity in the other. Did it become a habit over the years? What can you change or do differently? Focusing on building new, more positive behaviours now could strengthen your “muscles” to build better relationships with this person and others even after this crisis is over.
Having open discussions about how you want to deal (as a “team”) with this situation could also be beneficial.
In my book Navigating the Relationship Landscape shared more “tools” that could enhance your “relationship” toolbox.
We’re all affected by this situation, let’s also consider its positive aspects.
“A fascinating article. I’m an introvert married to an extrovert and I found your analysis spot on. Husband is off to see people and dogs, I’m off into the garden with more than enough maintenance to keep me busy for the duration.”
~Evelyn Sinclair
I’ve sent the same article via my newsletter and this Evelyn’s response just came in! Great validation from someone who has a background in education, psychology, charity employment/board treasurer and is the author of Surviving and Thriving.
Stay safe and healthy!
~ Gabriela
GabrielaCasineanu.com
PS1: Introverts and extroverts have complementary strengths. Click here if you’d like to download a list of 30 introvert strengths and receive more tips like these.
PS2: According to https://www.psychometrics.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/mbti-in-canada.pdf (Canada)
