I’ve been asked by an organization to deliver a workshop to a group of twelves professionals, members of their advisory committee.
So I’ve put together a handout with some visuals that I’ve created, to illustrate the concepts need to be grasped before starting the interactive and experiential exercises based on System Coaching.
Soon after receiving the handout file, the organizer sent me a long message: Can you please replace the image on page 6? This is why…
No way! was my first reaction. That’s the most important image from the handout; without it, the participants won’t understand the exercises.
I took a deep breath and reread the message, to understand where his comments came from. They all were based on an assumption associated with a word I used in that image. The organizer’s perception of that word – in that specific context – built up all sort of connections in his mind, which didn’t correspond with the reality he was familiar with.
What did I do?
Instead of replying comment by comment, I tried to understand his point of view. Funny enough. it led to a simple fix: I changed that word in the image! And I explained to him my perspective, why I considered that image is an essential part of getting the workshop outcomes we wanted to achieve.
His reaction? “Thanks for eliminating my concerns!”
The moral: Everyone is right but only partially! 🙂
I learned this concept in my System Coaching training in 2009. And it helped me many times since!
In any relationship system – between two people who collaborate, for example – each of them sees the situation from his or her perspective. It’s like looking at the world through a personal filter, which was built on the experiences and knowledge accumulated in time. And guess what: no two personal filters are the same! That’s why everyone is right…but only partially: from his or her perspective!
In the above situation: I knew I was right to present those concepts in a visual format with minimal words, it’s easier to grasp. And what the organizer said made sense too, based on his understanding of that image and what he knew. But to get along well, both of us needed to get curious about each other’s perspective!
How often are you open to understand the other’s point of view? And willing to find a way to move forward?
~ Gabriela
Amazon.com/author/gabrielacasineanu
