For some, this might seem like a strange choice for someone who celebrates and enjoys the Christmas spirit. But not for me, today: I felt so comfortable spending Christmas Eve all by myself… as lonely or selfish it might look like. I didn’t even sing a Christmas Carol, as I used to at this time of the year. No Christmas dinner either.. and that’s ok!
As we’re getting closer to shift into a new decade, I felt too tired—physically and mentally—to engage in any conversation and even be around people! That’s my way to withdraw from the outside world so I can take care of myself.
While introverts will understand, the extroverts probably won’t. Some will judge me, some won’t… and that’s ok too! It’s been a while since I don’t feel anymore the need to comply with any outsider’s perspective. I still love people but I feel that I had my share for this year.
We often underestimate self-love. For some, it looks like Narcissism or selfishness. For me, it looks like self-care, and time to connect with that deeper part of me that longs for space to recharge and be inspired. A good night sleep… even on Christmas Eve… it helped! 🙂
What does self-love mean to you?
Do you have the courage to listen and follow your inner desire? Or do you comply with “shoulds“ instead, even when you don’t feel like?
Am I a rebel against a tradition ingrained in our minds from a younger age?
Maybe. If that’s what you think, I’m totally fine being one. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired to be a robot that complies with a “software” programmed by others. Following my inner rhythms feels more natural, even sometimes they don’t fit into the external mould imposed by one religion or another. I expect at least one person to disagree with this. 🙂 I’m thinking of someone very religious, who also kept telling me during the last 13 years that I made a wrong choice shifting from engineering to coaching although it felt the right path for me. Yet, a week ago, the same person got curious about coaching and even tested my coaching skills a bit! And she liked the experience.
Things change. I changed too. I believe that this time of the year could also be a celebration of ourselves, whether we choose to be with others… or not! That’s how I feel now: although I’m tired… I feel happy and grateful! For being able to navigate the ups and downs of 2019, the accomplishments that came along the way, my improved health, the freedom to write these thoughts and share them with you, the (writing) projects waiting to start in the new year…
I am happy. Are you? 🙂
Happy Holidays and a great new year ahead!
Gabriela
