Some people like the Holiday Season, others don’t. Anyway, our emotions might get amplified during this time of the year.
The following tips are for the introverts who feel more lonely or dread the additional interactions and events this season might bring.
Tips for introverts that feel more lonely during the Holiday Season
1. Make a list of things you like to do, and get curious about what else you can discover about at least one of them.
I like nature photography. So my camera ‘pushes’ me to go out more during this time. It takes me to both indoor and outdoor places where I can enjoy the Holiday decorations (they’re on my list too) and to walk more and breathe the crisp winter fresh air (also on my list). Snowing? That’s a bonus! I love the playful snowflakes and the white winter.
2. Loneliness feels like you’re all alone, and nobody cares or understands you. Let’s put things in perspective: with 8 billion people out there, it’s hard to believe that’s true!
It’s been a while since I discovered that happiness comes from within, and never felt lonely since. Before that, when loneliness became unbearable, I discovered that switching gears helps. Instead of dwelling on how lonely I felt, I reached out to others via the Internet (even to strangers)—rather than waiting for others to reach out or acknowledge me.
This attitude always led to a mood change!
Saying ‘Hello’ … ‘Happy Holidays’ … ‘Happy Birthday’ … ‘Thank you for’ … sharing how I felt in the moment … or asking a question had always a positive boomerang effect on me (as long as my words were genuine and I had no expectations). Besides changing to a more positive mood, any response I’ve got was a proof that I’m not actually alone in this world. And that was all I needed to reverse the downward spiral I was going through.
Have you tried this: reaching out to others when you feel lonely? Make it an experiment with no expectations, and see what happens.
3. Loneliness might also come from being disconnected from who we really are.
If for many years we forced ourselves (consciously or unconsciously) to do things that others said we should do, or to please them, there’s no “me” and integrity in what we’re doing.
That lack of connection with whom you really are, what you like and what you want is feeding this ‘loneliness’ feeling. The day-to-day tasks are great at distracting us from this loneliness; but during the Holiday Season—with the extra time at our hands, and the daily routine disturbed—we can no longer push it in a corner because “I have to do …”
That’s why, during this time of the year, with all the invites to re/connect with others … there’s a deeper connection we crave: to reconnect with ourselves.
What can you do to give yourself this gift?
Download a list of 30 introvert strengths list to better understand yourself.
4. Imagine that one of these gifts is for you. What would you like it to be? How can you make it happen or work toward getting this gift for yourself?
I recently did this exercise and ended up registering to get the MBTI® (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator®) certification, something that I wanted for years. I didn’t have all the money to pay the certification fee. But once I set my mind on it, with a few phone calls and more brainstorming, I found ways to make it happen. I never thought about making those calls before.
Making a gift to yourself feels like you’re less lonely since someone thought of giving you a gift! 🙂
Do you usually dread the additional interactions and events this season might bring because they drain your energy?
Here are some ideas if you think of all those Holiday parties and get together with friends or family:
5. Prepare yourself mentally, so you’re ready when these occurs: How can you answer invitations to events that you don’t want to attend?
Your opinion counts as well. And communicating it is called setting boundaries—which is important! Otherwise you just let others guess what you want based on their own opinions (and they might not get it right).
You probably have a good reason for rejecting such invitations. So put aside the guilt that you’ll disappoint others, that you let them down by not going. Not attending an event or get together has less to do with how much you love, like, or care about those people … and more to do with the event itself.
6. If you plan to go, what part of that event do you actually like?
Think about how you can get more of that. Also, about how much time you want to spend there and what could be your “exit” strategy.
Be ready for this before you even get there. It will give you something to pay more attention to during the event, so you don’t get overwhelmed with all the other aspects. Such events are overwhelming for introverts and drain their energy faster.
7. Give yourself enough time before and after the event: to prepare yourself before (physically, mentally, rest) and to recharge after.
This way, the draining impact of such events won’t cumulate in time. Having a low energy level can make you feel worse and have more negative thoughts than usual.
There’s a new year coming, you need energy for it as well! 🙂
8. Is gift-giving part of the event you’ll attend?
My suggestion: go for gifts that are meaningful and/or practical. Meaningful things and gifts made with the receiver in mind touch people’s soul, no matter the price tag associated.
With more people caring about minimalism and sustainability, such gifts might be better received than those ending up in a corner (never used, and with an induced guilt attached if given away after a while).
Also, books and other gifts that bring new experiences and learning could be more valuable to people than the insensitive gift cards.
Back to you
• Which of the above tips resonates more with you?
• Do you have any other suggestions for people who feel lonely or dread social interactions during the Holiday Season?
I wish you an enjoyable one.
Merry Christmas! Season’s Greetings!
Gabriela Casineanu
